Its been months since I posted last. :( But, life has been so good and busy since my miscarriage. I healed up nicely and everything has been normal as far as that goes. Thank goodness it is over and all is well. I'm very blessed.
So, Mavin has been working hard doing his job and also signed up for school this fall. His new ambition is to be certified in metals work which would actually help out with his degree in mechanical engineering. So he is super excited to move forward with his schooling. He also got a calling to be a ward missionary. So life is good and busy for my Mav.
Jackson will be 4 in August and I can't believe it. And yet, this year has sure taken forever. I've said,"He's only 3" about a million times this year. :) But he has this face that makes you melt. This big cheesy smile that brights up any situation he's in ( mostly trouble). I try so hard not to be too hard on him or expect too much. Being the oldest Mav and I both know how that feels. But we try our very hardest to tell him we love him every second!!!
Brockton is getting so big and he is a solid boy! lol. He has this amazing smile as well that has, BONUS dimples! So he is just awesome and such a good boy. But there are signs of serious trouble and button pushing ahead of us as he will soon be turning 2! So good times. I love how snuggly he is.
As for me, I am going to school and it is a beast! I don't have a lot of interest in medical stuff lol. But, I must finish and will. I'm a bit behind and kicking it in gear to get'er done! I am loving my calling but feel sometimes that i'm not feeling that i'm not giving as much as the other ladies in the presidency. So I strive to continue to serve. Don't get me wrong, I can make a mean diaper cake :) I do love my calling and the sisters I serve with and those I get to serve. It really is such a great calling.
In 6 days Mav and I will drop our sweet boys off with my family, travel to visit old friends in Tehachapi, California, and head to Disney Land and California Adventure. Mav has never been to California Adventure so i'm excited to share that with him. Its going to be truly a nice vacation to celebrate us. 5 years of marriage on July 16th. Its so great! It feels like i've always had him with me (in a good way) and we have had so much adventure already! Super excited to run away for a week!
Well, life is good, and busy, and we love it that way!
Until next time...........
The Jones'
Monday, July 16, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
The first post/Nightmare that wont end
What a way to start a blog, but today as I'm laying here in pain and exhausted, I felt the need to type or keep a journal of sorts. I'll start off by, for the record, explaining my cute little family first.
Introducing the crazy Jones'. There is my absolutely incredible husband Mavin. He is 28, in the Air Force and proud of it! He enjoys his job but has big, HUGE plans for the future. He's going to school dreaming of the day he gets his Bachelors Degree in Mechanical Engineering. He is so brilliant that he has a hard time relating to me. ha ha ha Its true. He's an awesome hubby and Fabulous daddy. Then there is me, Hi. Ashley. I'm 24 with red hair and blue eyes. I'm also going to school. Working toward a certificate in Medical Transcription now, so I can work from home, and getting my Bachelors in Business later. Jackson Dee, named after my maiden name, is next. He is 3 going on 20. He is this brilliant little man like his daddy. He has the biggest smile in the world and can just make you laugh with the things he says. Last but not least is our Brockton. He is officially 18 months. Went to nursery for the first time last Sunday and was FURIOUS when it was time to come home. He is always so super happy, climbs on everything in the house, and loves his big brother. I tell ya, the personalities that come out of our kids is just amazing. Stubborn, head strong, brilliantly intelligent and completely adorable! And we wouldn't change them for the world! (pictures to come) So here we are. I'm finally joining the future! lol.
Today I started my miscarriage. I waited, kinda nervously, until my hubby got home from work to start the pills to help my miscarriage along. All these days wondering why it felt like the right time to have another baby only to lose it and go through this. Weeping for days. In the book of Nephi in the Book of Mormon, chapter 1 verse 1 he states that he has "Know many Afflictions", but is also "Highly Favored of the Lord." I love that verse. No matter what afflictions he sends our way, we should think of it as a time to rise up to the challenge to better ourselves. He is molding us more and more into the tools he needs. To struggle knowing that he loves me, makes things look a bit brighter. He never said it would be easy, he only said it would be worth it. But it still hurts.
On Wednesday, my hubby and I went to my 11 week appointment. As we started the ultrasound I immediately knew something was wrong. The mid-wife there went to fetch a doctor to take a second look. Sadly, Mav and I watched helpless as the doctor searched for any hope only to come to the same conclusion. The baby had stopped growing a few weeks ago and there was no heartbeat. In her search she found what looked like a blood clot that had formed between the placenta and my uterus. It had pulled the placenta to far from the wall for the baby to survive. I sat in shock as we talked about the best way to handle it. Not wanting to do the D and C surgery, i opted to take pills to help my body decide it was time. My biggest fear was that there was some way that we were mistaken and that I'd be killing this baby. But I know better.
For days I have felt sadness, bitterness, anxiety thinking maybe I'd done it, stress and just ready to get to it so I could move on. Even my Jackson Dee asks about the baby in my tummy, which he told me the other day was a robot that would come bite him ;), U=I tell him the baby is broken and gone. Its hard at this moment. Doctor Snow said there is no real reason for the blood clot. It just happened. I'm so super glad that I at least know what happened. I am glad that this is the way it went. To go full term only to have a still born or baby not able to live past a few min. Or to be farther along just to lose it this way. Or worse, for that sweet baby, to survive and live their life with the defect or damage. Mav and I would have loved he/she no matter what. But that child would have suffered. So, in this nightmare that doesn't want to end I see the blessings, and I still stand behind the belief that "Everything happens for a reason."
I've also had the chance to see how much love and support i have around me! It has been overwhelming. Even though with every visitor I have had brought on tears for both of us! I have received food, flowers, service and phone calls. I really didn't think my support system was this large. So thank you my incredible sisters! Thank you my amazing family! And I thank my Lord every second for the love of my life who has supported, served and loved me through it all! I love you all! Someday I hope to return the favor in some special way to you all!
In every situation there is light and darkness. What you choose to see or dwell on makes your life.
Ash ;)
Introducing the crazy Jones'. There is my absolutely incredible husband Mavin. He is 28, in the Air Force and proud of it! He enjoys his job but has big, HUGE plans for the future. He's going to school dreaming of the day he gets his Bachelors Degree in Mechanical Engineering. He is so brilliant that he has a hard time relating to me. ha ha ha Its true. He's an awesome hubby and Fabulous daddy. Then there is me, Hi. Ashley. I'm 24 with red hair and blue eyes. I'm also going to school. Working toward a certificate in Medical Transcription now, so I can work from home, and getting my Bachelors in Business later. Jackson Dee, named after my maiden name, is next. He is 3 going on 20. He is this brilliant little man like his daddy. He has the biggest smile in the world and can just make you laugh with the things he says. Last but not least is our Brockton. He is officially 18 months. Went to nursery for the first time last Sunday and was FURIOUS when it was time to come home. He is always so super happy, climbs on everything in the house, and loves his big brother. I tell ya, the personalities that come out of our kids is just amazing. Stubborn, head strong, brilliantly intelligent and completely adorable! And we wouldn't change them for the world! (pictures to come) So here we are. I'm finally joining the future! lol.
Today I started my miscarriage. I waited, kinda nervously, until my hubby got home from work to start the pills to help my miscarriage along. All these days wondering why it felt like the right time to have another baby only to lose it and go through this. Weeping for days. In the book of Nephi in the Book of Mormon, chapter 1 verse 1 he states that he has "Know many Afflictions", but is also "Highly Favored of the Lord." I love that verse. No matter what afflictions he sends our way, we should think of it as a time to rise up to the challenge to better ourselves. He is molding us more and more into the tools he needs. To struggle knowing that he loves me, makes things look a bit brighter. He never said it would be easy, he only said it would be worth it. But it still hurts.
On Wednesday, my hubby and I went to my 11 week appointment. As we started the ultrasound I immediately knew something was wrong. The mid-wife there went to fetch a doctor to take a second look. Sadly, Mav and I watched helpless as the doctor searched for any hope only to come to the same conclusion. The baby had stopped growing a few weeks ago and there was no heartbeat. In her search she found what looked like a blood clot that had formed between the placenta and my uterus. It had pulled the placenta to far from the wall for the baby to survive. I sat in shock as we talked about the best way to handle it. Not wanting to do the D and C surgery, i opted to take pills to help my body decide it was time. My biggest fear was that there was some way that we were mistaken and that I'd be killing this baby. But I know better.
For days I have felt sadness, bitterness, anxiety thinking maybe I'd done it, stress and just ready to get to it so I could move on. Even my Jackson Dee asks about the baby in my tummy, which he told me the other day was a robot that would come bite him ;), U=I tell him the baby is broken and gone. Its hard at this moment. Doctor Snow said there is no real reason for the blood clot. It just happened. I'm so super glad that I at least know what happened. I am glad that this is the way it went. To go full term only to have a still born or baby not able to live past a few min. Or to be farther along just to lose it this way. Or worse, for that sweet baby, to survive and live their life with the defect or damage. Mav and I would have loved he/she no matter what. But that child would have suffered. So, in this nightmare that doesn't want to end I see the blessings, and I still stand behind the belief that "Everything happens for a reason."
I've also had the chance to see how much love and support i have around me! It has been overwhelming. Even though with every visitor I have had brought on tears for both of us! I have received food, flowers, service and phone calls. I really didn't think my support system was this large. So thank you my incredible sisters! Thank you my amazing family! And I thank my Lord every second for the love of my life who has supported, served and loved me through it all! I love you all! Someday I hope to return the favor in some special way to you all!
In every situation there is light and darkness. What you choose to see or dwell on makes your life.
Ash ;)
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